Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Bad birthday present or worst present ever?
Japanese people are extremely rude about weight. I think it is one of the reasons why they are so small on average. Imagine school yard bullying that lasts your whole life. Well on my last birthday I experienced this first hand. Someone who wanted to buy me a birthday present asked me what I want. I told her I didn't want anything; we aren't exactly friends and frankly I did not want to feel obligated to reciprocate. Although in hindsight the gift I received would be nice to replicate. She asked me if I wanted a belt so I said alright (my current 100 yen shop belt was fraying). Afterward she asked me what my waist size is and I told her 32. It is actually 31 but I prefer 32 belts because they tend to cover the 30-34 range which is where I have been for the last decade. It makes me feel better knowing that I can gain and lose weight without worrying about buying new clothes, I suppose. She then told me that I was lying and bought a 38 belt for me. The smallest hole is a 34 which is currently far too big to be useful. This is not surprising given the fact that she has taken it upon herself to call me "metabolic" recently which is Japanese English for fat. To this I say it is like the cow calling the horse obese. So I ask you bad present or worst present?
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10 comments:
Due to my sarcastic/vindictive nature I would probably get her some laxatives for her birthday. Or just don't get her anything at all and ignore her. Passive aggressiveness also can be effective.
Yeah I don't get it. Tonight I was flirting with two different girls and both felt the need to randomly squeeze my belly and tell me I am bigger than the last time I saw them. Like they even remembered given how drunk they were today and the previous evening!
you should give her the same belt back for her birthday with a little note saying with your recent weight gain i thought you would like this. lol
I'd have to say it is the worst gift ever and she does not sound like a good friend. I would give her a BIG MAC for her birthday gift! LOL!
I also have a sarcastic nature although somewhat tempered with age but I would second the comment about giving her a Big Mac for her birthday!
Paul
This one might like a big mac.
of course, Tim, she might have thought you'd need a little extra belt space to grip upon when you spank her masochistic bottom with it...
What is that in my mouth? A little bit of vomit? Yes, yes it is.
Hmmm...complaints about folks overestimating your waist size....right after your last birthday...might this be some, oh - i don't know - *aging* complex, Tim? Join the club!
I recently went to a pharmacy for a quick stop; a friendly cashier greets me as my turn in a long line arises. "Would you like anything else, sir?" No thanks, that's it. "You know we have many candies on sale?" No, I'll pass. "Well, maybe you could get some for your grandchildren?" ...
...
..
.
I was shocked. Mad as hell. Smoke pouring out of my ears.
Noticing my distaste, he then stammered..."oh, ummm - you're only ....NINETEEN, right?", which sort of sounded like one saying "you're only 90 years YOUNG!"
(I gripped him with my arthritic hands and beat him with cane!)
And, no I have no grandchildren. Only 41 years. Not only am I not of grandparent age, but I don't even have children.
It wasn't simply that she overestimated my waist size. She asked me, said I am lying then bought a bigger one anyways!
I am only 26 but in the last year I have had to go to the hospital a dozen times. Probably more than the sum of my first 25 years. My youth has caught up to me (just when I started trying to take care of myself too!).
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