Funny English

I have taken hundreds of pictures on my mobile depicting funny attempts are writing in English. I understand that it is the same as the westerners who wear Chinese symbols on their shirts, around their necks and tattooed on their back even though they have no idea what the meaning is but still, sometimes it is just too funny. So here are my two favourite pictures.



This is one of my students wearing a shirt that says "Under Ware". Now as a person whose last name is Ware, I was often called things like "Under Ware" as a child. A silly play on underwear. So not only is the kid wearing a shirt that makes reference to his underwear, but the use of Ware instead adds a little bit of humour just for me.




J-Crew. Isn't it an American company? J-Crew, are you trying to tell me there is a party in your pants and I am invited? No thank you J-Crew.

Television

I don't want to turn into a blog about TV and so I am going to cram it all into one entry. The reason being is I watch enough that it deserves mention but I loathe it enough to allow it more than one entry.

It is strange to think that the shows we watch now versus a couple of years ago are so dramatically different. What I mean by this is, we of course chose different shows when we are in our 20s than say when we are eight but even year to year they change as new shows are produced and others go off the air or more likely we forget about them. It is also not surprising that at this point we care more about the world and watch more news and sports shows but even in the sitcom world our opinions can change rapidly. Also the internet and common DVD format have led people to consume a single series for a week or more (depending on amount of time dedicated to TV) then move on.

For example not too long ago I was really into Canadian television - Little Mosque on the Prairies, Trailer Park Boys, Corner Gas. I don't even know if these shows are on any more, though I suppose if they were I would try to catch up on them.
I was watching Weeds intently but it is an off season show and has now finished.
Now I have begun watching Dexter Season 3, Terminator Season 2, True Blood Season 1, The Riches Season 1 and am highly anticipating the return of South Park Season 13 in October.

Grilled Cheese

The grilled cheese, and its derivatives, are fantastic. The standard grilled cheese; cheese in bread with a layer of butter on the outside, fried to perfection and dipped in Ketchup, is an amazing sandwich. But, how did the grilled cheese get so locked up with Ketchup? It is good to dip in anything!

You can change the grilled cheese in so many ways! Lets take a look at everything you can add to it:
Bread: I like brown bread, whole grain or roman meal but of course white bread is standard. You can also use hard breads or even french toast to make it a Monte Cristo.
Cheese: I guess the processed cheese is standard but I especially like Havarti. Gouda, Mozzarella and Cheddar are all pretty common. If you are using a hard bread I recommend some Camembert for an interesting flavour mixture.
Butter or Margarine is a heated debate that I cannot solve in just one post. I will say this. Butter tastes better but is more likely to burn. Margarine is healthier and easier to cook.
Vegetables: This is not a limiting list but Onions, Tomatoes and peppers are my personal favourites. If you plan to use a roast beef (especially anything rare) I suggest pickles.
Meats: Almost all meat is okay. You want to make sure it is thin and not too greasy or the sandwich will fall apart. This means bacon is great but be sure to remove excess grease. Frying the sandwich in the greasy bacon pan is acceptable. I have learned to love Nama Hamu (raw ham) since being in Japan but any ham is good. With tomatoes and bacon perhaps some turkey breast would give you the feeling of a club grilled cheese. Wow. That sounds amazing. Spicy pastrami or corned beef is probably my favourite.
Now for dipping: Ketchup is good but it is not your only option. I recommend Maple Syrup for the Monte Cristo or anything with Camembert. For anything with a spicy meat on it, you need to match it with a coarse mustard. It is the only way to do it justice. For your ham (raw or roasted) I suggest pizza sauce. Finally for something in a mozzarella with onions, The only way to sauce it up right is with left over curry (a lil east meets west action). You dip that sandwich in some curry and you have yourself a meal! Anything with tomatoes on it becomes dipping sauce optional. I also like gravy and au jus. These are extremely unhealthy and therefore you risk a heart attack if you eat them before 8 am. After that it is no problem.
Cooking. The frying pan is standard but if you want to cut out the fatty butter you can always use a toaster oven. There is also what I call the five cent welfare special; cheese whiz on white bread heated in the microwave. Oh those remind me of a simpler time.

Typhoon, Earth Quake, Typhoon

I started a short holiday last night after work. Thought I would be able to get a couple things done on my four day weekend (Saturday-Wednesday) including picking up my new work visa and maybe enjoying the end of summer. Well Friday night it looked like the weather might be turning bad as a typhoon rolled through. It was supposed to hit on Saturday so I was happy it was going to be a day early.
This morning there was a pretty strong Earth quake. The dishes that I left drying last night on the counter all rattled pretty good and my window was banging back and forth. It was strong enough to wake me up (which is pretty rare) so I checked it out and it was a 4.9 and only about 50km from where I live. This may be the strongest or, at least, second strongest I have felt. That is to say not the strongest I have experienced but some of the really powerful ones that have occurred since I have come here have been further away and as such they felt weaker. Usually (in my short experience) there seems to be one strong shake with each subsequent shake being weaker than the previous but this one was actually backward to that. The second shake was much stronger so I was a little worried. There is also the knowledge that it could be a weak 2.5 right underneath you or an 8+ that has an epicenter near Kyoto and so even if it feels weak here many people could be in trouble somewhere else.


4.9 East of Tokyo

The little earthquakes are a little bit fun.
Anyways now a second typhoon has struck! It was supposed to miss us but it is raining pretty hard. Earlier the rain was unbelievable. Especially the fact that it wasn't raining when I walked to the 7/11 but on the way back there was 8cm of water flooding all the streets. Hopefully the weather is better tomorrow!

Who the fuck is Ross Purdon?

He is on my facebook list because apparently he went to St. Joe's (my high school)? I can tolerate random people adding me to their list (even if they are bald like this guy - yeah I am a baldest) but he starts messaging me today through the facebook messenger. This is the conversation:

Ross
hey timothy how it going
11:55amTimothy
good, how are you?
11:56amRoss
im good how you been
11:56amTimothy
pretty decent
whats new?
11:57amRoss
working lots
11:57amTimothy
nice
11:57amRoss
yea
11:57amTimothy
I miss working lots. Now I have a lazy job
11:57amRoss
yea
11:58amTimothy
only 26 hours a week
11:58amRoss
that good
12:01pmRoss is offline.

If he ever knew me he wouldn't start with Timothy. He probably wouldn't say my name at all. Do you generally use your friends name when talking directly to them?
Second, you add the hot girls from your high school to facebook so you can see if they got fat or not. Not the men. Not unless you were at least acquainted with them.
We need to make rules for randoms on facebook.

No wall posts
No messages
No comments on photos of people (buildings, scenery, etc are acceptable)
No Messenger
No Bald People

Bailout

The American government has bailed out the banking system to the tune of $1 Trillion. It has asked congress to increase the ceiling for the national deficit by $700 Billion to facilitate further bailouts. Namely, taking all of the bad debt.
Here is something that occurred to me. Lets assume that the war in Iraq's cost, which was borrowed from the financial community, is partially responsible for this. Would that mean the government borrowed a lot of money with no intentions of paying it back and as a result the banks neared bankruptcy. The government is now bailing them out instead of paying them back and fixing their balance sheets?
Not to mention in the process taking a huge share in at least one company (AIG). This situation is seriously messed up!

The Art of Filibustering

Have you ever watched the highlights of a filibuster on TV? Its hard to call them highlights because even the most entertaining moments are so unbelievably boring that most people would rather fuck a warm apple pie than have to watch and/or listen to it.
What is a filibuster?
It is essentially a loophole in American Democratic procedures that states the senate can pass anything with a majority but in order to do it with less than a threshold greater than a simple majority they must pass a trial. The trial is an attempted mass murder by speech. Lots of speeches. Long speeches. Speeches that all sound the same.
Filibustering is the madlibs of political conjecture. Every member of the current, slight, minority party gets together and has all of their advisers write the longest speech they can. They then compile all 45ish speeches together, redistribute them for slight editing; "insert colourful simile here", "reference Iraq here", "Point to stupid bar/pie chart now". Then each senator takes turns trying to goad the other side into ritualized suicide.
To stop this from happening in the future, my plan is that all American children should be forced to watch - start to finish - a filibuster during their civics class in high school or elementary school so that when they grow up they realize the barbaric practice must end.

Facebook profiles

You know what annoys me? People who list favourite authors (especially exclusively) under the favourite books section without a preamble like "the works of" or "anything written by".
I mean its annoying that Facebook has "movies", "books", "Music" as sub-headers instead of 20-30 that you can select or omit. Or that it doesn't have more generic ones such as "video input" "audio input" and "reading material". But it doesn't so I question whether or not you have read anything at all if it says "books" and you write "JD Salinger".

Obama vs McCain

This is stupid.

Obama more preferred Football Buddy

With everything going on in America right now some asshole decided to waste his time and money polling Americans as to who they would rather watch a football game.

the quotations make it sound a little bit like hetero man dating. Like "the age differences is too great" or "McCain might be an angry drunk if his team doesn't win".

I guess if it came down to it, I would pick Obama solely for "Da Bears".

SEC Halts Short Selling

Well the SEC (along with the apparent aide of the British) have stopped short Selling of Companies in the Finance sector.

No Short Selling

799 to be precise.

799 Financial Companies Off Limits

I guess, like everybody else in the world, I should be addressing this. It is interesting news. Interesting in its less common, negative, connotation. With Lehman Brothers going bankrupt we have now witnessed the biggest bankruptcy ever (in America anyways). What does this mean to the world? I have no idea. Clearly people with more power and money don't know whats going on so why I should I pretend to?

Here we have a person, who McCain said he would fire, coming out guns a blazing two days later. Is this a rash decision brought on by market turmoil? Is today really that much worse than say Wednesday or when they stopped short selling on a dozenish shares awhile ago? Or is it just now Cox is worried about his livelihood? Okay, That's probably unlikely since I am sure the guy has other money and head of the SEC does not seem like the best job right now anyways. But why are we so late on this? Is it so bad right now that people keep thinking "It can't get worse" then it does, and they are left thinking of the next way to fix it?

Is Short selling all that bad anyways? Are they essentially saying that if you have money in the financial markets right now you are going down with the ship?
What about the situation where you own X amount of shares in company A and believe that it is only in turmoil because the market as a whole is. You don't want to lose money but you also want to keep your shares. You short -X shares to hold a market position then in the future when the market changes you buy X shares back. Are things like that allowed? Is it just 'malicious' shorting they are worried about?
The markets are going to lose a lot of liquidity over this.

Should you even care? Do you have a job? Do you need a job? Do you own a house? Do you have insurance? Do your parents own a house you plan to inherit? Do you hope to retire at some point in the future? I think we reached the point sometime in August where even lay people with no money from lower class parents who rent a property and have a six month contingency bank account need to be worried. Shit that's me.

The Elephant in the Room

OMG WTF AIG.

What can we say about this. I was slow to write about it because it is such big news that I don't know what to think.
If America chose to nationalise its energy market or water markets because of a similarly comprehensive, immediate and catastrophic failure in these markets would people accept it the same way? I don't think so. This happens all the time in the world. Generally with the word Socialismo being muttered. Is it somehow better or more necessary to aide financial markets and insurance providers than water and heating oil?
It seems necessary to guarantee Freddie and Frannie - possibly AIG - because of the way our economy is based. To lose the construction industry would cause a cascade effect through the whole system.
The following article (IMHO) has an interesting view and some original information.

Wall Street Journal: AIG

I think I will need a lot of time to fully decide how I feel about this. Certainly something had to be done. Is this the best way? Already we are hearing this is the worst market condition in fifty years! That beats the dot.com bust, the early 90s, the oil shocks and any problems associated with 'nam or Korea. I hope governments, individuals and companies start to look proactive over the next week or so because if this becomes the worst market condition in a century I don't think synthetic shoes make as good a soup as our great grandparents enjoyed in dickity-nine.

I am especially interested in hearing what you think on this topic as it worries me. Frankly it should worry you too.

Brad Pitt

Apparently Brad Pitt was recently named the most dangerous person in cyberspace. That is to say searching his name is the most likely to cause your computer to contract some sort of virus.

Cyber HIV

Now to me this by itself is not that interesting. Though it is funny to think that the hierarchy is;
Brad Pitt
Porn
Other
But here is something interesting, Brad Pitt recently donated a bunch of money to fighting HIV/AIDs. He also donated 100k to preserving gay rights in California.

Donates Money to fight the HIV

Aids + Gay Marriage + Brad Pitt + More Computer Viruses than online porn
= what? exactly.

Sagamihara

I used to think of Sagamihara as the 'Mississauga of Tokyo' but recently I have learned it is more like the "Scarborough".
I went and got my haircut on Sunday (Its really short... still rocking the faux hawk but when the lady showed me a picture of these audacious red bangs and said "Is this good?" and I said no, she literally cut off my bangs completely. At Least it will grow back (so there bald people HA).
Anyways this lady (a larger woman with tattoos all over her) accosted me. She asked me if I was a soldier (I live near an army base and my hair got chopped off so I pardon such a question) to which I told her I was an English teacher. She went on to tell me she used to live in Texas and was married to an American. Anyways she is now divorced and is worried that her daughter's English will deteriorate. Standing beside us was a girl who looked about 14 and was clearly half-white. So I say hello and agree that I could do a model lesson to the daughter and if she likes me I will do private lessons for her.
Then the mom tells me its for her other daughter (age 9) who is at her grandparents house right now (2 train stations north of where I live). I am a little taken aback as I really don't want to teach a young child lessons outside of the safety of a school. Parents can be protective of their children after all and Japan is very much racist toward foreign people so you could see how a wild accusation could go a long way. But at this point I have already given her my number and agreed to teaching her daughter (thinking it was the older one). As soon as I get home I get a call from the mom informing me she had just cooked dinner and if I wanted to meet her in front of the Yamada (electronics shop) where we had met earlier I could come over for dinner. I said okay.
I immediately realized how stupid I was and send an e-mail to Ken telling him the situation to that point and that he should come looking for my abused and decaying body if I don't e-mail him in a few hours. I get to Yamada and see the daughter I had met earlier waiting for me. We make some small talk then get to the apartment.
The apartment is a tiny 1DK (One Bedroom, Dining Room, Kitchen) with bunk beds in the dining room for the two girls. The younger of which is suspiciously not there (and I had brought some books and print outs and toys to show her). Apparently she was not coming home that night and I was there for social purposes. lovely. If I am not uncomfortable enough sitting around this tiny table squeezed against the wall realizing the mom may not have the money to pay for me everything that happens from then on does the trick.
The mom starts off the conversation with "do you like Jager Bombs?" I mean I am already there so I say sure. Unfortunately she is out of Red Bull so it is just straight Jager. After that it is champagne. Elegantly poured into a glass filled with ice (a big juice glass so the bottle evenly splits between the two). The mom tells me that she is often very lonely (Tattoos are a huge stigma here so it is difficult to meet new friends) and she likes to meet foreign people.
I rebuff by talking about my girlfriend. She says she has a boyfriend too, who lives in Texas. This makes me wonder if maybe its part of the reason she is divorced. The picture she shows me of her 27 year old boyfriend (she is mid 40s) is him with his arm around Britney Spears (apparently he went to her concert and after waited to meet her). So I realize I am being paranoid and she was not somehow trying to pick me up in front of her daughter. Until she asked how old I was and said she thought I was a few years younger. So perhaps the set up was for the daughter?!
She also told me the dad (who I assumed lived in Texas) lives one station away (like a 20 minute walk) from them! Why can't they talk with him in English?
The mom downs her wine in like 10 minutes, tells me to drink up as I am lagging and when I am half finished my glass, she opens up a bottle of wine and pours part of it into my half glass of Champagne!
Afterwards she invites me to watch a movie, not wanting to be rude I say ok. The movie? Borat. So we are all crammed onto the bottom bunk (the elder daughters bed!) watching Borat together. Around the time when they are wrestling naked (Borat and his friend NOT the mom and daughter) the uncomfortableness really peaked.
After the movie I excuse myself and go home. On the way home she sends me an e-mail with two of her friends pictures in it and says they are looking for foreign boyfriends. The one is Thai and liable to be a lady boy!






The worst part is I can't help but feel sorry for the girls. Living with a mom like that and being half foreign would be incredibly difficult for them. But, I still have to avoid that situation like the plague.

Adult Friend Finder

Every time I go to megavideo to watch some sort of television program there is a pop up ad for Adult Friend Finder. The thing that annoys me is it says something like "Single Women in your Area" then has a bunch of pictures of girls with either the city I live in or ones near by (Sagamihara, Kawasaki, Tokyo, Yokohama, Atsugi, etc.) . But all the women are white! Every Caucasian cunt in the area must be giving herself up on this website. Its not that pornographic pop up ads bother me. Its just the blatant lying. If it were "blondandbusty.gov" or something it would be cool but this is supposedly people living near me. Shouldn't they be Filipino?

The Philanthropic Philanderer

Giving it to ugly women so you don't have to.

PETAx2

Apparently PETA has done it again. They went undercover at some pork producer and videotaped people abusing the animals - including sodomizing them with metal pikes.



Oink Oink, Boo, Boo



I want to say thank you to PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) for doing what the other smaller PETA (People for the Eating of Tasty Animals) cannot do. We just do not have the resources to deal with these things.
I know from working in a butcher shop that bruised meat just does not taste as good. It is also more difficult to cut cleanly and less likely to sell. For all those for Eating Tasty Animals lets hold up are steak knives and salute the other PETA.

Japanese and Whales

It is bad enough eating whale when they are just majestic beasts swimming through the water that may or may not be smarter than us. Some Japanese guy is trying to teach them our language / learn theirs.
What happens if they have something profound to say? Would the Japanese still eat them?


Japanese Whale Whisperer

They only taste okay.

Train derailment

Have you ever been texting while walking and stubbed your toe and first thought ouch and immediately after think of yourself as an idiot?

Article 4 U 2 read

This guy was texting his teenage boy pals (what is a 'train enthusiast' anyways?) when he failed to yield and killed over 20 people. Very tragic so I hate to sound callous but wow.

There are often human deaths caused by trains in Japan. But not because drivers are TEXTING! Merely because it is the preferred way to commit suicide and so people, often men fed up with their shitty office job and/or broke from gambling on pachinko, decide to jump in front of a train.

My theory is the people that hate their job and with their last breath want to spare others from work for an hour jump in the morning. The people that hate their jobs and with their last breath want to spite the people jump at night so everyone is stuck on the crowded platforms instead of at home with their family.

Coincidentally the families of the people who heave themselves in front of the train are sent a huge bill from the train company to cover the loses incurred because of the stoppage.

The Yen!

I am very happy to say that the Yen is getting much more valuable.
Since coming to Japan the Canadian Dollar relative to the Yen has dropped from about 118JPY/CAD to 96JPY/CAD. This means that the money I need to send home to pay off my student loans is now worth a lot more. Thank you world markets.

Living abroad and still having debt in Canada has exposed me to the most currency risk I have ever experienced. Aside from vacationing the movement of foreign currency prices has not had a direct and visible affect on me.
Of course going to school for business kept me aware of the currency markets and understand the less visible ways it can help or hinder our purchasing power. Even when buying local products the 'second best' option of exporting the goods can change with the value of the local currency relative to the importing market's currency and so it can easily change the price of said goods.
If your country is very oil dependent or oil rich the change in currency value can be even more apparent.

How much attention should the average person pay the currency markets?
little? none at all?

Australian Outback a failed state?

Apparently Reports are coming out about the situation in Australia's Outback. At first I thought who cares about the Outback until I realized that was essentially what the articles are about. Turns out almost everyone is moving out of the outback, the government is underfunding the area and crime is out of control.

Australia the Failed State

If they worry about the fact that it is so desolate that their sovereignty is questioned, then they should just do what Canada does. I mean driving some soldiers through on snow mobiles wouldn't quite work there but you know 4x4s or something.

The mining companies are complaining that too many people are leaving the area which will jeopardize their interests. Here is a thought, increase your wages and maybe people will stay?

Why not give the outback some amount of self determination and let the aborigines deal with everything like we did the Inuit in Nunavut.

Regulation Gap?

How are Sperm Banks regulated? If a woman walks in and wants to buy the sperm of some famous athlete or something does she get some sort of letter of authentication?
Can a sperm bank just say all of the semen is from Harvard grads ("our sperm is actually crimson in colour?") then just give homeless people cookies in exchange for their 'deposit'?
Do you think there are instances of fraud? Do you think on occasion a baby comes out Korean and the mother is really pissed off?
These are the things I worry about?

Secret Societies

These people that go on and on about how terrible secret societies are, are just jealous. That head douche bag in the following documentary so clearly wants in, it is not even funny. He has his own secret society of one. Their weird ritual? Crying while masturbating in the dark.
Secret societies are fascinating to most people because we would like to know what is going on inside of these groups but to honestly believe they somehow rule the world is unimaginable to me.



Thank you Google Videos
History Channel: Secret Societies



The skull and bones have produced a lot of leaders but so have some of the other secret societies found at Yale. At other universities, Secret Societies, more commonly called senior societies, though quite secretive all the same, also produce leaders.
Why doesn't it occur to people that going to Yale might be part of the cause for future presidential success or the fact that these people are exceedingly wealthy and likely grow up making both public and private connections to other powerful people? I mean if skull and bones was a secret society at say The Kentucky School of Bizness and still produced presidents I might be willing to say it is because of the Skull and Bones and not the Alma Mata.

Changes

Well I am not going to sneak it passed you so we might as well confront it.

I have updated the layout. There are some financial gadgets on the side. I thought a currency converter would be useful to understand the posts and the other two are of interest to me so I assume they are to the people who are reading my posts.
They come with the baggage of advertising which apparently will relate to the articles and be able to distinguish the meaning not just key words. Not sure if that is true because earlier I was shelling for a group I was mocking in a post (Scientology).

I was also thinking of putting an RSS feed down the right side under the gadgets. It would be for The Economist. I know some of you read the magazine in its print edition and others would likely find it interesting, but do not think to check the page.

Let me know if you would like the RSS feed and if you are completely annoyed by the right side.

I figure if The Who sellout why can't I?

UPDATE: I just went and added the RSS feed for the Economist and one for The Japan Times too.

UPDATE 2: I added a Best of Craigslist RSS too. Its quite funny. Thanks to Brycey for showing it to me.

Crowdsourcing - cool idea, stupid name

I like new words/phrases and even the one I used in brackets below (going viral) is an entertaining one. But I just don't like the sound of the word crowdsourcing. There is just no truthiness to it. The guy who came up with it should quit coining terms and go get a mcjob. I'm finished. Really. Sorry

What is crowd sourcing?


The Economist Article


Here The Economist Technology Quarterly Online Edition explains that it is the idea of asking a group of people to help with an idea. It is a new way of doing the whole R&D thing.
The article is mostly about the fact that the idea has far more limits than what was previously thought. For example using crowdsourcing to come up with a new design is often more expensive because of the vetting process (I can now use that word and assume you know what it means. Thank you Johny Boy) can end up being more expensive than having in house people do it. Apparently the public at large is really bad at fact checking and following copyright laws. Not that shocking really.

The X-prize is an instance where crowd sourcing may be advantageous because the goal is not necessarily to directly make a profit but rather just prove technology for the progression of an industry.


X Prize Article


This newest prize is $25k to the person who submits the best green initiative video to youtube. I wonder how fierce the competition is? I mean most of the hippies will just be like "planting pot takes carbon out of the atmosphere". Anyways if you like money it is definitely worth making a 2 minute video to try and get $25000. Admittedly its American currency but still.

United Airlines

Unless you have been living under a rock, you have heard about the United Airlines scandal. A newspaper, apparently by mistake, revived a seven year old article about the company going bankrupt. Of course, the company was only entering bankruptcy insurance which helps companies reorganise and cut staff with ease. It then left bankruptcy insurance in 2006. Recent changes have made bankruptcy insurance in America less appealing and as such this would be even bigger news.
Well some how this hick Floridian paper's Xnews was picked up by Google and was spread rapidly (In the new lingo it went viral). The result was a 75% drop in share prices. Likely because people are so sensitive to airline issues that the reactions are quicker and more harsh than in other industries.
Now we have a real Dog and Tail thing going on. Who purchased those discounted shares?
Could this be a super hostile takeover bid? Did somebody purposefully rerun that article after accepting a huge bribe so someone else could buy the stocks knowing the shares would eventually return to their previous levels? Is that possible?
Or, perhaps more believable, The company knew the article was untrue and took this opportunity to buy back as many shares as possible at the discounted rate only to issue more later. At which time we see the company increasing its capital base without diluting the stock pool.
I don't know what happened, legal or illegal, but somebody made a lot of money and I want to know who, as well as what the SEC is going to do about it.

I made it into the FAQ on the South Park website

My glorious question:

Monday, September 8, 2008
I was wondering: who does the fact checking? I live in Japan - to escape the gingers - and saw a Japanese ginger at Tokyo Disneyland.
Oh my god. A Japanese Ginger?! It can't be. My only guess is that it was a crab person disgused as an pasty, soulless tourist.


South Park FAQ page






Behind my friend, Derek, smiling while I take a picture of the Japanese Ginger, is the Japanese Ginger. I knew they would make a comment about this when I asked. The website is southparkstudios.com. If you live outside of Canada you can watch all the episodes for free, legally.


sick

Who sympathises when the ill is Kim Jong?

First, Even if The Castros or Kim Jongs of the world are generally regarded as dangerous, should we be so giddy with the notion of them being seriously ill? Admittedly there is reason to hope for the safety of the world when a ruthless nuclear crazed leader could be on death's door but still is it not morbid? Should we not report it in a more plain way?
I don't actually care about that but-
Why is it so difficult to get news out about foreign dignitaries from a less than reputable 'corner' of the world? I mean I know that the American spy agency has made some serious gaffs but not knowing if the leader of North Korea is in good health seems pathetic! Do they actually know but keep it a secret to protect the informants? Seems a little unlikely. It just seems strange that there are weeks of rumours and rebuffs that slowly move to the extreme until at some point in the near future Kimmy will undoubtedly come out on TV and say he is in great condition. This will likely be followed by KJ (Kim Junior - if he exists) taking over.

Substitute land

Anybody who has taken Econ 101 (I am sure most universities have so many classes that this name is outdated but you probably know what I mean-An Introductory Microeconomics class) is familiar with the model that stipulates that there are three distinct, but related, markets for inferior, normal and superior goods. I would even guess that the KD/steak/lobster example has been given.
But lets refresh ourselves with the idea. lets assume we have 3 groups of people; the lower, middle and upper class each with their own unique demand curve to meet the competitive (for simplicity only - branding has given KD a market dominating position, beef is only competitive at the wholesale level and unless you live near an ocean I am sure the importing companies set their own price for higher rents) supply curves.
What we see is lower class people demand mostly inferior good (like KD), some normal goods (like steak) and almost no superior goods. Middle income afford themselves the luxury of superior goods often and also partake in the inferior goods on occasion but generally stick to the normal goods. Finally the upper class do not touch inferior goods, normal goods make up a portion of their basket but generally they eat the superior goods. I think rump roast/sirloin/tenderloin would be a better example but we have come too far.
Anyways if we see the wages people earn, in real dollars, increases the markets shift upwards. The upper class rid themselves of normal goods and only purchase the superior goods; lower class people treat themselves to a slightly less rare degree to superior goods, buy many normal products and less inferior goods; middle class people tend to stop buying inferior goods and start purchasing more superior goods while their demand for normal products stays relatively neutral - or increases a little.

Now I wonder if a study exists to discuss land and property. For example, low income rental properties tend to have higher rent the closer to a supermarket; middle income, detached units, tend to be more expensive when closer to employment hubs and high income properties tend to be more expensive when closer to amenities - be that the fresh air of cottage country, good road access to airports, the theatre, etc.

I came up with those groupings with a thought in mind but they are definitely open to debate. I am just getting at the fact that land value is not necessarily tied to the Central Business District (CBD) in all cases. A friend and I spent a long time in an Urban Economics class mapping out our towns land value with that idea in mind, stipulating there were three major pulls on prices in the town.
But I think if we had more data available and broke it down into the wage classes of each type of housing unit it is most likely to be occupied by, we might find that instead of three locations (the CBD, Commercial District and our University) affecting each group that perhaps the different classes would be affected most by different locations.

I'd say the poor want to be close to a grocery store since they are going to be schlepping it back to their house (even if they own a car, they do not own two and probably want to conserve fuel). For that reason I suppose that being close to the shopping area (commercial district) may make for the most expensive shitty apartments. Also it is possible that they work retail in that area.
The middle class are most likely to be tied to their desk in the CBD so those middle class, detached houses, especially the old victorians or the double wides in newer subdivisions are likely most expensive when it is close to the CBD.
Finally I suppose that, although the university may be a poor example, the superior homes are probably more expensive when near the university because it would be the centre of society there. It would have the fund raising events, the plays, the concerts, the library, the highest paid jobs (or most of them) and also the nostalgia of the university days that undoubtedly helped lead to their relative affluence.

Well that last part is just my wishful thinking but most of it is a reasonable hypothesis in my 'humble' opinion

Tipping

I think tipping is an important portion of society. It is a way of spreading the wealth completely outside the taxation system. I would like to think of myself as a big tipper. I preferred to give big tips, especially at places that I frequented a lot. But I just read an article (found on the yahoo homepage) that shocked me.

The Article

In all the situations it listed I either tipped close to double what they suggested or nothing at all. It says you should tip your piercer 10%? Does that include the proprietor of an establishment? Or 3 bucks to the shuttle guy at an airport? Why the hell would you tip at an airport? you are never going to see him again. No love lost there.

Perhaps because I am a big tipper I am especially happy I live in a no tip country. Its great. My favourite thing is there is no finagling over the cheque at the end of the night. If there are five people and the bill is 15000; that's 3000 each. So simple. Having cheap friends sucks. I can think of a similar situation back home and know I would throw in $50+ and when we counted up the pile we would still be short and I have to put in more and at the end you have a total of 180 bucks, a 30 dollar tip and I had put in $60 and so offered the entire tip or (more likely than not) the one other person at the table that has a similar mindset to me also puts in $60 and everyone else is paying less than their total. Bastards.

Media And Elections

A media aided election is not only necessary but quite beneficial to democracy. Is it not said that a free media is the corner stone of democracy? Well if it is not said yet, I am saying it now. But what we see in America and possibly Canada is a media controlled election. This is done at a very subliminal level as the laws that prevent this from happening are quite strong. But something that I believe they can manipulate are the polls. Of course the large companies (like Gallup) are likely to be reputable but a lot of newspapers and TV programs commission their own and it would be quite easy to hand pick neighbourhoods across the country that are likely to go one way. Now what is the advantages?

Well in Canada say the Liberals and democrats are put at a dead heap It would likely draw votes away from the smaller parties as people do the unthinkable - strategically vote against other parties. So if a paper was pro-Liberal they could easily aide the party by finding Polls that push the conservatives up. Likewise they could rally the conservatives to turn out in higher numbers if they put the conservatives a few points behind.

In America it is beneficial to be shown out in front since you vote for the President and local politicians separately. If McCain is put out in front people may be more inclined to vote for a republican senator and congressman since they do not want a "do nothing" capitol hill which tends to happen when the president is from an opposing party to the house.

The same could happen if the elections are called on the east coast early enough that the west can get out the vote to block it. The media clearly had something to do with the Florida debacle as well.

McCain in the LEAD?

Since the Republic convention (which was not much of a show) it appears as though McCain has received a bump. Many polls are putting him in the lead and in fact on yahoo it shows the average of polls now puts McCain a couple of points ahead.
This is interesting for me because despite my far left of centre social values (I am a social libertarian and my policies tend to be pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, pro-legalisation, etc, [more to follow on that]). Anyways I hoped McCain would win the nomination the first time he went up for it - I think most people would considering the result was a second Bush. Anyways historically I liked Eisenhower (beware of the industrial-military complex), which he felt was dangerous when an army man was in charge but down right subversive if business people were to take control. I think his dire warning looks to be true when you look at the ramifications of the previous 20 years of presidents. Don't forget even Mr. Congeniality, Clinton, bombed everywhere.
So we want out of Iraq but if nothing good happens then some douche bag named Jeb will end up starting Operation Desert Storm III. After Iraq is dealt with we should go on to get the coalition out of Afghanistan. It seems logical that a military leader will be more inclined to follow the advice of all the generals that Bush ignored.
Anyways, I pulled out my support when McCain made his choice of Palin (and no it is not because her daughter is all preggo.... that is just funny). Palin is a terrible choice. she is from a small state, she is from a corrupt state, she is dorky, she is on record as saying she doesn't know what the VP does, she has absolutely no relevant experience which was a huge selling point of McCain over Obama, and finally she doesn't look presidential with those stupid glasses.
The vetting must have been highly unsubstantial (I bet 90% of Americans didn't know the definition of vetting or vet the root word 2 months ago and 40% still don't know but use the word regularly).
Biden on the other hand is a fine candidate. I would like to see it Biden/Obama not Obama/Biden but lets be honest, Biden has foot-in-the-mouth disease and Obama is too cool to be VP.
Well I imagine a lot of people feel the way I do - that McCain > Obama but Obama/Biden > McCain/Palin. So why did the Republicans get a boost? My theory will be looked at further in another post as I wish to touch on the Media role in both America and Canada at once but my belief is the old boys club that is the media may be trying to swing the election by getting some extremely biased figures to trump up McCain so as to make people believe he is winning in a clear self fulfilling prophecy attempt.

Scientology

First a Caveat. This will not be the last time I discuss Scientology. Seriously, how could it be?

This will be short and sweet. I hope that Scientology is a giant global scam designed to take money from the stupid and give it to the leaders. To me that seems slightly better than even the high level members and leaders seriously believing the ludicrous doctrine.

That's all.

Sovereign Wealth Fund

Canada needs to set up a sovereign wealth fund. According to The Economist (Sept 6th-12th, pg 87), which is my favourite magazine and so happens to be one of my biggest influences (Along with Professor Ferguson (University of Guelph) and South Park in the spirit of full disclosure), makes some interesting arguments about sovereign wealth funds (SWF).
It stipulates that SWF's world wide are worth $2.5 Trillion. It also gives three specific examples of uses.
Norway's is aimed at transferring money to later generations long after the spike in national wealth from the oil dissipates; Chile's which uses it to save when prices and exports are high to spend when prices and exports are lower to smooth out their business cycle; and Saudi Arabia which will start buying farmland around the world to help guarantee a supply of food to the desert.
In previous articles over the past two months they have gone into more detail about the first and third examples. The latter is being developed as a cheaper and more environmentally stable way of producing food for the desert nation than their last major project of pumping desalinated ocean water in an irrigation system in the desert to produce some of the world's most expensive wheat. The first example, Norway, has a strong ethics board which monitors all the investments for environmental and social justice concerns (Completely reasonable and necessary). How could you promote rights but invest in companies that employ children in sweat shops? Individuals have no problem but governments need to be more aware. Since local governments do not have the resources to monitor all of the major projects, it is a great way for the developed world to express their concerns - by selling off their shares in unethical companies.
Another common factor in SWF is the majority of money is invested outside the country to prevent increased inflation which would reinforce the business cycle not smooth it out.
Canada needs a SWF. We need to use it to invest in Environmentally sound projects around the world. I believe we could help finance future generations, save the pension plan and meet our Kyoto obligations all with a reasonably large SWF. It is not an easy thing to implement and certainly not a band aid for all of our problems but it is a necessary step.
We need to nationalize more of the oil profits, and perhaps other primary resources eventually, so that some of the royalties can be siphoned off for this fund. We need to hire top notch investors, along with a bipartisan ethics committee, and blend the investments to have some within but most outside of the boarders.

Dunkin Donuts in Japan

I was at a Dunkin Donuts in Japan not so long ago. I was Dunkin one of my Doughnuts (as per the instructions the establishment's name offered) when I saw everybody staring at me even more than usual (its strange enough not being Asain.... not being Japanese even). I was at lunch with the manager of my school and she asked me what I was doing and when I explained the name of the store and the fact that it is delicious she was shocked. She had no idea what the name of the shop meant (lets not forget that the symbol beside the name is a doughnut half submerged in a coffee). I suppose I should say I had my 'donaatsu' in my 'koohii' but regardless.
She then went on to say that it was childish to which I retorted the idea of eating doughnuts is a little bit childish in itself. In theory at this point in our lives we should care about our body and stick to healthier food but who does? I say Forgive us our Dunks as we forgive those that dunk near us.

May is in the Debates?!

May is back in the debates. I am very happy about this to say the least. I think that everybody in Canada should be happy. The Green party has mobilized the Canadian youth to participate in Politics in the way that Obama surely will in America. The reason is simple. Old people clearly, in general, do not care about young people. They are suspicious of us because we try to steal their jobs (and with our higher levels of Education are replacing them at a faster rate).
Now of course mother cares for child and some older people may show an altruistic tendency toward the youth but it is quite rare.
Every time they deny Global warming, explicitly like a Palin might (worst choice ever) or implicitly like a Harper does when he plans to cut excise taxes on fuel they are showing us that they don't care. The baby boomers should be regarded as the most selfish generation of all time. They have exploited our resources, ruined our environment, flooded the market with so many workers that the wages are no where near where they should be, and their Pièce de résistance will be bankrupting pensions world wide to the point that we will continue to pay for their unbeleivably long retirement long after they die and we ourselves are retired. All because they feel entitled to the point of not saving (financially or environmentally). It was bad enough when the wealthy walked around feeling everything was theirs, now that everyone does it is quite worrisome.
I attended the Green Party's national convention a few years ago and it was something of a proud point that we influence policy even if we are not in the house. It is quite apparent when you can see the Liberal leader promoting an income neutral carbon tax. Something that I believe will be both more effective and efficient. I would rather use fiscal policy to shape a market than use regulation to restrain a market. Regulation also has the added effect of needing some sort of overview.
Anyways, I disgress with saying that May will focus the debates onto key issues that are important to the younger generation. Now if people are able to vote from their university town, maybe they will actually have a voice to answer the call May makes.

Finally this Makes Harper even more of a pussy. According to the canoe.ca, The Harper camp has said, "We don't think she should be there. But if the NDP have decided they're changing their position, we will not stand alone." So without the moral strength of Layton, who looks a bit like a cartoon character, Harper cannot fight 'the good fight'. Seriously, grow a pair. I said in my last post that if the news organization changed their stance the parties would have to fall in line because its better to be in a debate than not. Sure enough they did. Thank you Jack Layton, I was surprised at your initial stance. You always seemed like a decent person (although your ideals are far different then mine) so I am glad you did the right thing. Harper for being the person that followed suit of a much smaller party (and smaller man) you get no points. In fact I ridicule you all the same as it is not with courage you did what you did but from fear. And we all know fear leads to anger and anger leads to the dark side.

May not in the Debates?

Why is it that Elizabeth May is not in the debates? Democracy failed. Stephen Harper and (more surprisingly) Jack Layton threatened to pull out of the debates if May was allowed representation. This is absolutely unacceptable. The news organizations should not have allowed them to back out. Then if they did, it would be political suicide. At the end of the day if the organizers had the gumption to stick to their plan. Harper and Layton would eventually bow down. You cannot win an election without being in the debates.
Now their charge is it would be like having two Liberal candidates. If there was any team up it is closer to say two Green members would have been in the debate as Dion took a huge chunk of his policy from the Green Party.
Is it not usual in Canadian politics for people in the debate to join together in arbitrary alliances? Do they not always attack the person who is most different or most similar or most powerful?
The liberals, NDP and Bloc tend to have a lot in common and gang up on the Conservatives about all social issues. Then the Conservatives, NDP and Bloc attack the liberals because, traditionally, they are the party to beat. Then the NDP attack the liberals to try and make them look like the Conservatives. Then the bloc attack the liberals and conservatives because they need to gain votes in the only province they run.
I will follow with some policy in later posts throughout this election but first I want to pose this question:
If Harper is afraid of the member of an (unfortunately) marginal party in Canada how will he stand up to someone like Obama or McCain? He has already shown a pandering mentality to an unpopular and dysfunctional Bush; what happens when he has to deal with the personality cult of Obama?

Internet Porn

Seriously. There is something wrong with internet porn. The women in the videos are about 20% as attractive as they used to be. If someone is watching free internet porn they are in a low place. No money for the good stuff, no availability of sex, too nervous to buy porn, etc. There are issues. The ugly women are really kicking you when you are down.
How is it that we don't allow the weak to be firefighters, the stupid to be professors but the ugly can be porn actors? Should there not be some threshold?
I suggest the creation of something similar to SAG. I guess PAG (porn actors guild for the idiots reading right now). Make it so they have very high dues (like 40k per year). If you are not a member of the guild you cannot do any porn whatsoever without fear of a law suit - or being beaten by a giant dildo - some sort of repercussion befalling you. Then when someone turns 33 they get all the money they put in + interest - fees. They can be a member emeritus but are no longer allowed to act.
This would have a secondary benefit to the women. Scarcity drives up prices and this type of guild would act as a monopsony. Also the forced savings would help since careers are short. And lets be honest most of that money would go up the nose or shot into the arm anyways. Okay.... not the arm it is too noticeable on screen. I guess porn stars, whores and models prefer the foot right?

Express Lanes at Grocery Stores

I bet the express lane at a supermarket is a deterrent to theft. As a person who lives alone in a small apartment I tend to shop as often as I can stand it to reduce wasted space in my house as well as wasted food. One of those green aspects that I favour most - if it saves you money and helps the environment than why not do it? I'll deal with things of that ilk later one when this blog makes the transition to political; which it never will but I will say I have a slant. If I was writing for a newspaper I would hide it but you are in my sphere of influence. My 'corner' of the bloggosphere if you will. Anyways, there are no express lanes at supermarkets in Japan (suupaa in Japanese). It drives me crazy since everybody takes trains home from work, stops at the suupaa near the station then walks home so essentially the supermarket rush hour is very pronounced (far more than my home country... something I feel I am an expert on with my 5 years of experience at the A&P). So I essentially go in an buy an apple and some sort of bentou and have to wait in line. Which I do, grudgingly.
Now yesterday I was at the suupaa with my girlfriend who is far more law abiding than I am. We spent an hour buying groceries (with about 20 minutes of that being spent in the checkout line). Only to realise we didn't buy some necessary chinese spicy paste thingy for our maaboo (a spicy concotion of meat and tofu to be eaten with rice.... fantastic might I add). All I can think is to go back in and buy it will require another 25 minutes so lets just steal it. She said no. Stealing is wrong blah blah blah. But I certainly would have considered it in that situation especially. We just spent 4000JPY and had to wait a long time in the line. The paste was only 140JPY. Overall they are probably still making a profit off of us.
Now if there was an express line for the second trip through and it would only take 5 minutes to pay I probably would never have thought about stealing it. My process was directly from the time wasted paying for it, not the price.
In conclusion I am willing to bet if you compared supermarkets around the world that have express lines with ones that do not you would likely find that they are not only convenient but reduce the instances of theft. Of course you would have to be quite scientific and remove all the other plausible factors with dummy variables or true variables. (ie time of day peak hour is, demographics of the area, strength of laws, if the store implements cameras, tag alarms, etc, etc, etc).

introduction

The all important one off.  The first one that people will not read.  If boring the last one people will not read.  So, who am I?  Clearly I am arrogant or I wouldn't be a writer.  After all the only thing more vain than thinking you have something worth writing is to believe that others will read it.   I suppose I am halfway there.

I am a mid 20s sort, part of the lost generation.  Which lost generation?  The one I am so boldly going to define for you and everyone else.  I am a member of the group of western university graduates who, realizing they have learned nothing in university decide they will use their natural gift to make a living.  In Buffet's view on the sperm lottery we are those who hit 4/6 numbers.  We speak English but have no money.  Sad really.  So we move around the world to the unfortunate masses who do not yet speak English and teach them.  Usually poorly and with little effort.  The ones who care quit.  

I am currently living in Japan.  Its shiny.  where am I from?  I'll give you a hint;  if you know how to spell and accept that I do as well (which I don't), you will be able to figure that out.  

I always felt my teachers were either lazy or angry.  I realize now that I was correct.  Frankly the pay is atrocious; more than we deserve but less than I want.  I'll get more into that on another installment of this unread blog.  

Some of the things I plan to write about, though if this follows with everything else I do will not, are politics, economics, the environment, Japan, teaching, pornography, things that aggravate me and anything else I care to write about.   

Its fun to hide out in the open.